Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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