I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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