I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize