Whod you bang
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize