pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
