ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
