at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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