More tranny stories later!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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