My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize