I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
