I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
