babies were throwing up all over the place
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
