Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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