i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
