they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
