She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Success! We fucked roommates!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
