I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
