its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
