It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
