When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
