I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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