yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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