Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I smell stomach acid.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
