I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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