How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
