cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
