were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
