im so drunk with asians
where?
always
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
