ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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