well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
