Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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