Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
