at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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