He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
