Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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