he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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