Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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