if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
