I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
