Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
