Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
