when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
