Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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