She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
