He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
