i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
