Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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