we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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