Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
