Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
farters have to be the big spoon...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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