hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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