my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
