You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
