marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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