and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize