please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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