I'm going to jail i love you
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
