I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
