he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You pole danced in your parka.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
