Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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