He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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