i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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