Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The air was thick with penises
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
