know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
