Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
