yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize